The Imperfect Me...

I just survived from a recent depression. Caused by so many disappointments, unanswered prayers and unmet expectations from friends and family. And because of such unfortunate events, I was left wondering if God really did exist and could ever hear my cry and hear my pleas.

If God really is God, then why all this agony? Sometimes I think that God takes perverse pleasure to see me suffer. Am I that unlovable that even God can't love me?

Then I started rebelling against Him. I was actually starting to doubt his existence. I stopped praying for a time, not even going to church to hear mass every Sunday as an act of rebellion. Though I continued serving Him, I was like a stiff robot. I knew I was drifting away. How can I love someone who can't love me?

Yet in all these, one truth kept coming back to me.

He still see me as His child.

A hurting child.

A rebellious child but a very precious one for Him.




Lord, accept my imperfections, my unfaithfulness, my imperfect love, my imperfect soul. Let me feel your love in your surprising ways!